Week two of the 2018 NFL Season had it all: ties, injuries, controversies, and HA HA HA HA HA HA THE PATRIOTS LOST THEY LOOKED LIKE TRASH OH MAN DID YOU SEE THE KEELAN COLE CATCH IT WAS AMAZING CAN YOU BELIEVE THEY DIDN’T TRY A FOURTH-QUARTER COMEBACK?!?!?!?!!?????????
Sorry, I lost control for a second there. Let’s get back to business.
I don’t care if there was a call, a no-call, or a stupid call, there shouldn’t have been a tie in the Pack-Vikes game last week. Honestly, Minnesota paid big money for a quarterback that they arguably felt was their last missing piece and they couldn’t keep up with a Packers team in which the defense was anemic and the line has more holes than my wife’s spaghetti strainer? Come on. Minnesota should have run away with that game, no matter the location. One of the things I love about early-season rivalry game is the ability to set the tone and the perception of the team for the rest of the season, and this one pretty much failed as much as the Titans-Texans game did. If I wanted to watch a game end in a tie I would’ve watched soccer.
If I did a rundown of the bad and the shockingly bad, I’d probably be here for far more time than I’ve allotted to write this article. But the Saints are basically stinking it up over the last two weeks, and they have nowhere to go but up. Letting the Browns hold you to needing a game-winning field goal is something that a former powerhouse like New Orleans shouldn’t do. It’s a glaring opportunity for the Saints. Additionally, the Steelers are looking a little old and worn-down. It’s early in the season, sure, but some of these guys are in midseason slowness form. I just read something from legendary NFL senior team writer Vic Ketchman about how Pittsburgh is getting old and awful on defense and hasn’t begun rebuilding it. That is very true – and it probably doesn’t help that the offense can’t make up for it.
Past shockingly bad and down to just plain bad, the Raiders are not off to a good Gruden era start. Then again, what do you expect when you gut a roster full of promising young players built through the draft and replace them with old, washed-out players that are probably buddies of the coach? A crappy team, that’s what. Speaking of crappy teams, the Bills are just straight up trash, so much so that a player quit on them mid-game. Mid-game! Are you kidding me? Might be the smartest career move Vontae’s ever made, though.
I know it’s early but the Chiefs look great – even if their defense stinks. Patrick Mahomes is legit, and definitely benefited from having Alex Smith around last year. Also, the Bengals are doing surprisingly well. I’ll give them props for now, but I look forward to the eventual implosion.
The Rams and the Jaguars are the top of peoples’ power rankings this week, and with good reason. However, the Rams have taken down a pair of 0-2 teams. The Jaguars took down the Pats, so I give them the slight advantage here, such as it is.
But what a game Pats-Jags was on Sunday afternoon. I did not attend it myself but enjoyed watching it on TV, and the atmosphere seemed to be rocking from downtown to the beach. Those teal and white uniforms brought back memories of dominance, and the team followed through. Tom Brady never looked comfortable. Sony Michel never got a hole. Gronk never got open. These are the kinds of things that definitely bring smiles to Jaguar fans’ faces. The team looks dominant. Even if the offense was a little sputting in week one, it looked great in week two. Cole, Westbrook, and Moncrief all had great catches and contributed well to the game. The defense continued to look solid and full of stars.
I have to give credit where it’s due: Blake Bortles absolutely earned every dollar of his new contract on Sunday. I very vocally doubted him before the start of the 2017 season. I was wrong. He has been given time to flourish in his offensive coordinator’s system. He makes smart decisions. He extends plays as needed. I am proud to have Blake Bortles as the quarterback of the Jacksonville Jaguars.
The Jaguars have a tough schedule, but I really only doubt the outcome of three or so games: the Chiefs game, the Eagles game, and maybe one of the Titans games. We’ll see what happens.
This week, the Jags have to get the Titans monkey off their back. Tennessee swept the series last year, winning a couple of inexplicable games. Also, their potential starting QB, Blaine “used to be a wasted Jaguars draft pick” Gabbert beat them in Arizona last year. The Jaguars just beat “the team to beat in the AFC” last week, now they have to give their deepest division rivals a loss to prove they are truly a favorite.
AARON IT OUT TOP FIVE
AARON IT OUT PICKS AND PREVIEWS
Jets @ Browns – This game will end in a tie.
Bills @ Vikings – Oh. Oh, man. People are going to pay money to watch this? I guess if you’re a Vikings fan, it will be okay. If you’ve ever wanted to see Minnesota put up 60 points, watch this game. Vikings win, it won’t be close.
Giants @ Texans – A compelling matchup between a top young QB and a top young RB now looks like crap. However, I think about Odell Beckham and how the Texans lost to the Titans last week, and I think the Giants are going to win.
Packers @ Redskins – The Redskins, after a fluky week one win, came crashing back down to Earth against the Colts of all teams. The Packers need a statement win and they’ll get it here. Rodgers will continue to improve and light up the ‘Skins D. Packers win.
Niners @ Chiefs – The Niners had issues with the Lions last week and I don’t think they’ll be able to match score-for-score with KC. While neither of these defenses are good, this should be a high-scoring affair but the Chiefs’ home field advantage will seal it. Chiefs win.
Raiders @ Dolphins – The Raiders are stinking about as bad as their stadium, and the Dolphins are surprising people. I don’t give Oakland a chance to fly across the country and eke out a win against a Miami team that has them beat talent-wise already. I look forward to a Dolphins win.
Colts @ Eagles – I don’t care if the only Eagles wide receiver is a retired hall of famer, no matter what health they are at the Eagles will beat the Colts black and blue. Especially if Wentz returns this week, they have a statement to make, and they are at home, and they are looking to put the Tampa loss behind them.
Titans @ Jaguars – Here we go. New teal pants and a white jersey for this week in Jacksonville, as the Jags look to move past the Titan-y demons of yesteryear and establish their dominance over the inferior 2018 off-season uniform change. The Titans look slow and bad on offense, their defense isn’t doing a thing, they have lost their safety valve tight end for the year, and Mariota has nerve damage in his throwing arm, and they have a new head coach. Yeah. Jaguars win.
Bengals @ Panthers – This looks like a solid game! Two cat-teams, clawing it out… see what I did there? Put down your saucer of milk for a second and watch as Cam Newton faces off against Andy Dalton for a game of Who Can Throw The Yarn Ball Farthest? Can the kickers get the balls through the scratching posts? I’ll be here all week. Bengals win because they have dirty players on their team.
Broncos @ Ravens – The Ravens saw a little pass-rush last week and got all timid and stuff. They’ll see more from Denver this week and the long week will not be very beneficial for them. Broncos win.
Saints @ Falcons – This seems kind of interesting, but also not, because the Saints started the season kind of horribly. The Falcons lost in week one, but… eh. Falcons win.
Chargers @ Rams – Rams win. Is this even a question?
Bears @ Cardinals – Bears win, by a lot – even though I don’t believe in their offense, Sam Bradford is gonna take one look at Khalil Mack and break his own knee.
Cowboys @ Seahawks – This is a late game? Why? Was this schedule made in 2016? Cowboys win, I guess?
Patriots @ Lions – Lions win. The Patriots don’t have a wide receiver worth crap. Patricia’ll stick it to Belichick.
Steelers @ Bucs – The Fitzmagic won’t stop yet. The Steelers defense is getting trashed each week and when even the Browns can push a game to the limit, you know Pittsburgh is vulnerable. Tampa looks solid and while I don’t think they’re a lock for much of anything, they can look to this period of time in which they should have given Ryan Fitzpatrick all the money for saving them from Jameis “Finger Lickin Good” Winston. Bucs win.