Sprint Option: #HateWeek

Well, thank God that’s over. 

I have mixed feelings. On one hand, nothing happened that was too unpredictable. On the other, nothing happened that was too unpredictable. I’m talking in circles. Rivalry weekend spat out little in the way of clarifying the disaster that will eventually befall the playoff committee–I’m anticipating writing a piece about firing them all into the sun when they put Ohio State in over Washington.

I digress. Shall we get to it? 


Florida gets shredded so bad by FSU, taxidermists couldn’t find enough to piece together a stuffed Gator…

So, this is both unsurprising to anyone who has watched Florida these past few weeks and encouraging for Florida State fans. It’s always nice to beat a rival down. As a Florida fan, I long for the days of FSU ineptitude to return. That said, FSU just had a better squad to put out there. The Seminole offense got a lot more done on the ground early against the Gators than I expected; still, the offense managed to wear Florida out and make the game even less competitive. Moreover, Florida’s offense didn’t get off the bus. That’s not surprising. Florida’s offense is appalling, moribund, abysmal. They were nearly as bad against LSU, but the running backs didn’t go down on first contact. They did against FSU. The game was lost on the line. FSU sealed the game by taking advantage of turnovers, which put the Gator D on the field on short rest. However, Florida had the crap kicked out of them and get a whole week before we do it all again against the best team in the country, Alabama. It’s looking like it may be quite some time before Florida beats up on little brother again.

Washington slobberknocks Wazzu, tightens the screws on CFP committee…

 The Huskies crushed Wazzu on offense and turned around and suffocated them on defense. I’ve never seen a Mike Leach coached team get so overwhelmed by a defense. This game was never close and Washington has one more obstacle in Colorado before eventually getting left out of the playoff. Yes, I firmly believe that if results hold, Washington will get shafted and play in the Rose Bowl. Prepare yourselves, Husky fans. You will be screwed by the one process you can’t control.

 Tech outhustles Georgia, neuters UGA at home for the second straight time…

Make no mistake, this does mean that the Jackets lost last year and this isn’t any sort of consecutive victory that matters. Moreover, Georgia is still the big brother in this rivalry–albeit Big Brother Cletus who’s kind of an oaf. Tech managed to string together a coherent offense that showed a great deal more balance than fans are used to and the defense actually looked competent at times. This result surprised me as Eason went into this game showing great skill as a passer and Tech’s secondary has made it clear that it will only defend the pass when moved by the Holy Spirit. Well, Hallelujah, there was a tent revival in Athens on Saturday–not to be confused with the other actual tent revival on Sunday. The final score in this game for Tech came on what appeared to be an end around run-pass option, which concluded with a Herculean dive. I also may be giving Johnson too much credit and it could have easily been a throwback to a very not-open Thomas that didn’t work out until it did. Either way, Tech has bragging rights over beleaguered Georgia for the next year.

Ohio State beats Michigan in OT, despite the collective will of just about everyone outside of the state of Ohio…

 Seriously. Urban Meyer is one of the most hated people in all of college football. OSU is one of the most hated teams in all of college football. Lebron James, noted Buckeye fan, is one of the most polarizing sports figures in the country. Side note: you choosing to hate OSU because of Lebron is kind of like Al Capone getting sent away for tax evasion. As big a fan as people in power in college football are of dodging responsibility–see also: Texas’s handling of Charlie Strong’s firing–it would be foolish to believe that the CFP committee was rooting for anyone other than the Maize and Blue on Saturday. Sadly, it seems the committee may be brought to bear and forced to make a tough playoff call. Ohio State looks like a playoff team and they simply outplayed Michigan in overtime. The Wolverines had every chance to win the ballgame, but imploded down the stretch. It will be interesting with Ohio State and the playoff, since picking them effectively sets off a bomb in the four team format. One thing is for certain, it would be, at minimum, hypocritical for them to send the message that conference championship games don’t matter only a couple seasons after excluding the Big 12 for that very reason. We shall see. 

Bama steamrolls Auburn, makes it impossible to sell tickets to the SEC Championship Game…

 But really. The result of the SECCG is so much of a given that tickets are selling for 50% of face value. That fact is a great deal of annoyance to some people. At any rate, Auburn kept it respectable early before Alabama pulled away in the second half, as Alabama is wont to do. The bright side for Tiger fans is that they’ll likely be the conference representative in the Sugar Bowl. Who else do you take? Florida as a 5-loss divisional winner? Tennessee as a 5-loss divisional runner-up. The SEC is terrible this year apart from the Tide. It should come as no surprise in the absurdity of this season that the SEC East is so bad that the West gets to send another team to the NY6 bowl.

Colorado beats Utah, storms field in…stampede…
 No, I’m not proud of that one. Utah put up a great fight and it took a lot of solid play from Colorado to keep ahead and win this one. This is actually one of the more interesting and seminal wins this weekend. Allow me to explain. A Colorado loss would have put USC in the PAC-12 title game, which would have been a rematch for Washington against the only team they lost to. A convincing win over the Trojans would have been the most powerful ammunition available to put Washington in over Ohio State. It would have stamped out the dubious mark against the Huskies and would have made the argument for OSU effectively invalid. As it stands, Colorado may have screwed the entire PAC’s chances at the playoff. Way to go, Ralphie.

 Vandy beats Tennessee…Kentucky beats Louisville…


 I haven’t stopped laughing from both of these. Heck, I would have been tickled at one or the other; but to have both is borderline euphoric in terms of schadenfreudic satisfaction. Butch Jones has got to be fired– he won’t be, which is the kind of hilarious where you laugh, but feel guilty about it afterwards. After proclaiming Tennessee as the Champions of Life in a ridiculous press conference statement, he went out and lost to Vanderbilt, who is still a punchline. The saddest part about this is that if you look only at the wins–Tennessee, Ole Miss, Georgia–Vandy has one of the more impressive-sounding resumes in the East. Still, Butch Jones is an incompetent fool and he’s got to go. It’s also important to note that as petty as LSU fans were about Florida “dodging them,” they pale in comparison to how inappropriate many Tennessee fans acted. It was a combination of presumptively assuming they would lose a few more games while simultaneously feeling entitled to win the division. See? Satisfying and hilarious.

 Louisville losing was just beautiful. Kentucky came in against a team that, at one point, was ranked in the top 4 in the country and beat them with a field goal as time expired. Given all of his grandiloquence about style points and running up the score, it was satisfying beyond compare to see Petrino get smacked down by a basketball school’s football team. This loss should lose Jackson the Heisman Trophy. I don’t think it will since it’s basically the second Maxwell award, but Louisville is not nearly as good as advertised and Jackson has folded like a cheap suit in close games. He lacks poise and leadership, two qualities most closely associated with the Heisman Trophy. I think he should still be a finalist, I just wouldn’t be giving him my top vote.

 That’s all I had this week. Texas is too frustrating for me to talk about and I plan to write up the coaching carousel aftermath once all the dust settles.

 Champ games are next week.


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