We may be a day late, but that only means that I’ve had 24 hours more to think of brilliant and insightful points. Why are you laughing? Anyway, we had another interesting weekend of football. The Sunday afternoon games were Boring! So boring that I thought about getting off my couch and not watching football. Don’t worry, I didn’t.
As always, here is what I’m watching for heading into Week 4:
- Everybody is a winner! Even after blowing a win against the Colts. Even after getting dominated by the Patriots. Don’t worry Titans and Jaguars fans, the entire AFC South is tied for 1st. If the division keeps struggling, I’d like the AFC South to take it a step farther. Let’s all agree to just make sure everyone gets to play, we all have fun, and lets meet at Chuck E Cheese for a pizza party at the end of the year!
- Bye Bye Bye. No it’s not everyone’s favorite N Sync song, it’s that time of year when teams get a week off. It makes you play your bench players in Fantasy Football, it means fewer games on RedZone Sunday afternoons, and most importantly it just means less fun. I picture Tom Brady spending his Bye week by making one of his buddies wear a Roger Goodell mask and throwing footballs at him. The FU tour will resume next week against the Cowboys.
- This is getting scary. More proof of our theory that the Arizona Cardinals are the owners of a time machine. Chris Johnson looked great on Sunday. He looked explosive and was actually good at football. The only way this can be explained is a time machine. This will be confirmed next week if Nirvana or Elvis is playing halftime of their next game. Stay tuned here for more fake breaking news.
- Fantasy Explosion. It seemed like an unusual number of players had huge days for their fantasy owners. If you didn’t have AJ Green, Devonta Freeman, Joseph Randle, Jamal Charles, Aaron Rodgers, or any of the 87 other players that had multiple touchdowns, then you probably lost. It was great for a day, but try and sell high on some of these guys while you can.
- So glad it’s over. If you’ve watched a little football in the last two years, you’ve heard the Kansas City Chiefs haven’t thrown a TD to a wide receiver in 18 games. They finally did it Monday night and we don’t have to hear it anymore. Now we can focus on the fact that KC might not be that good and the Broncos are going to win the AFC West for the fifth year in a row.
- Think Pink. It still looks weird to have our teams dressed in pink. But it’s for such a good cause. I wish the NFL would donate $1 million dollars toward cancer research for every flag that was thrown. We’d knock this out by November. If you haven’t already, Google DeAngelo Williams and everything he has done for this cause after losing his mother.
- Toasty Buns. Look out Joe Philbin. Your seat is getting hot. After signing Ndamukong Suh (you better believe I had to look up how to spell that), many experts thought that the Dolphins were going to challenge the Patriots for the AFC East. The offensive line looks lost and that is causing the offense in general to look terrible. When the 14 celebrity owners get a text from their personal assistant that the team is struggling. They may want to make a change.
- NBA Style. The Chicago Bears appear to be tanking. I think it’s smart. They aren’t going to be good this year. And now they have started trading away veterans for draft picks. I hope they will free Matt Forte and trade him to a contender (Denver). Why not give yourself the best chance to draft a future franchise QB and turn things around. The only flaw in the plan is that New Orleans might be just as bad.
- Matchup of the Week: Jacksonville @ Indianapolis. I’m fascinated by how bad the Colts have been this year. Picked by so many to represent the AFC in the Super Bowl, they may be imploding. The Jaguars have looked improved and have a chance to take down the Colts. This would be a huge win for a young team looking to take that next step toward respect around the league.
- Three Team Parlay of the Week: Bal -3, Car -3.5, and Ari -7. Did we lose our bet immediately on Thursday night last week? Yes. But did we have fun doing it? No! That game was awful and I never want to lose money. But good news, This is our week!