List of Events for the Redneck CrossFit Games, Part 1

I cannot take credit for coming up with this idea. Andy Staples at Sports Illustrated tweeted about misreading the word “Reebok” and it all escalated very quickly. So I don’t coopt anyone, I’m including the tweets that inspired each idea if applicable. 

Outboard Motor Carry and Swim

This one is mine. Picture this: competitors have an aluminum Jon boat loaded down with beer waiting at the bottom of a hill at the edge of the water. Competitors must carry an Evinrude 50 HP outboard motor down the hill wearing Crocs and no shirt. Once at the boat, they must attach the motor to the boat. 

Then, they must pull the starter 30 times in 2 minutes. Naturally, these engines won’t start. At the conclusion of the pull interval, competitors must shove the boat off into the water, grab the tow line, and then jump in. They will then pull the boat by swimming 200 yards to the nearest dock. 

The “Empty Keg” Beer Run

Competitors will start on the beach at a floating keg station one quarter mile from trucks that have extra kegs iced down. At the starter’s gun, competitors will grab the floating kegs and proceed to run across the hot sand to the waiting trucks. Once 10 feet from the trucks, competitors will heave the empty kegs into the pickup beds–points will be deducted for breaking windows or denting panels on the truck. Once unencumbered, each runner will grab a full keg and lumber it back to the station. During the run, tenders will have replaced the empty keg and the process will start all over again. Competitors will have 10 minutes to retrieve as many kegs as possible. 

The Redneck Yacht Club Pontoon Pull

Each competitor will start on a pontoon boat centered about 6 other pontoon boats with each boat 50 feet from the central boat. Each boat will have a line tied to the central boat. When the gun sounds, the competitors will pull in each boat and tie it down. Once tied, the competitor will have to move the flotilla to a finishing buoy 100 yards away to stop the clock. The event will be timed to completion.

The Hog Chase

Each competitor will be equipped with a crossbow, machete, Remington shotgun, 300 rounds of ammunition, and a RealTree camouflage molle vest and fatigues. Then, competitors will be sent into a clearing to chase a juvenile hog. Once the hog is chased to the tree line, handlers will release an adult wild boar to give chase. Competitors must then run back across the clearing and up into a tree stand. Points will be deducted for death, loss of gear, killing the hog or boar, or spilling your beer. 

There you have it. The first 4 events of the inaugural Redneck CrossFit Games. 

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